Walking on Modified Pavement….and a bit more

I have engaged myself in the past few weeks physically, mentally, and emotionally to a modified walking routine plus the new regimen of weight-training exercises.  All resulted as the knee MRI revealed avascular necrosis in both knees.  I was very disturbed to see image upon image the "black holes" in the bottom of both femurs on the MRI.  I no longer have words for news and images of this sort of my own body.  Numb is often the initial reaction.  And then there is this "forlornness" and deep sorrow for the losses I have yet to learn to accept.  

Nonetheless, there is also a rainbow after the storm.  We live in an area called South Natomas in Sacramento and there is a small but efficient work-out room in the South Natomas Community Center.  For $15 a month I can walk on their treadmills and use the weight machines all I want.  I used to be a member there when it was $5 a month--how inflation creeps up.  I joined this place because it is run by Sacramento City and Recreation and I know that the money I pay goes to the sustainability of my own city--instead of going to some huge profit-making, fancy gym.  Local is good.

Walking 30 minutes on Matrix Th3 model treadmill, with an incline of 15--the highest and  the pace of 3.5 to 4 miles a hour is optimal for me.  I start my work-out with the 30-minute walk.  And then there are 8 different weight-training and body building apparatus that I can use to build all the muscles on my body.  I usually do 3 sets of 10 on each.  There is also a abundant set of free weights--from 1 lbs to about 250 lbs, which I never touch.  After going through the body-building process I return to my Matrix pavement and walk another 30 minutes with the same intensity.  The total distance is usually around 3.7 miles per work-out.  I do this routine on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays--rain or shine.  Oh well, it really does not matter since I am indoors.

I dreaded this change in the beginning, not because of the money--for those of you know me you know how thrifty I am--and yes, $15 is still $15.  I joined because I ran out of options and alternatives.  Lupus pain returned with a vengeance and since I could no longer be on regular street pavement--the hardness and unevenness are not safe, I desperately needed another way of making endorphins.

I joined the beginning of February and since then I have met some very inspiring people/friends in the gym: a very young couple who have been working out a year and both lost 150 lbs each.  Speaking with them and sharing their pain in their lives help me cope.  I met a Pentecostal minister who single-handedly turned the room into a worship service while everyone is working out!!  I so enjoyed talking to a pair of retired-boxers who were in the Navy and went to Vietnam.  Their stories fill me with awe and are most intriguing.  Another patron and I share the same orthopod and he has 2 replaced knees and a replaced hip.  And then there is Fran.  The woman you do not want to mess with, under any circumstances.  I could go on.  

The common thread to all this is that human and social interactions are critical to ridding my gloominess and maintaining my well-being.  They give me perspective and purpose.  I want to see them and talk with them again as soon as I leave the joint.

This even surprised me because I LOVE to be alone.  I find that my work converts and forces me to be an "extrovert" and that when I come home, I am totally drained.  After teaching 5-7 students I am literally hollow.  I need retreat.  Fellowship is my strange bedfellow, especially when I work out, so I thought.

Thinking back to my childhood days when I was under the "control" of my 2 older brothers and other older cousins, I'd prefer to be alone so I would not do anything that would appear stupid.  And this has framed my temperament as well as my outlook on sociality.  "The smart one always just listens".

Tomorrow is my regular work-out day and I am wondering if they are not all going to be there!  Each person walks in to that little work-out room with an interesting story and dignity that I respect.  I have learned from the ex-boxers on weight machines and more proper stretching techniques.  They have also taught me how to hold my head and neck for proper sit-ups.  The preacher prayed for my illness and encourages me in every step to look to the Personal Savior for refuge.  Fran and I talk about just anything with an animation that surpasses winning a "presidential election".  The young couple really opened up yesterday and shared with me the horror of alcoholism they are enduring with their father.

These personal interactions are gems.  In my entire life I have only a handful of people with whom I share my life in totality.  And yet these "strangers" are so genuinely welcoming and they share openly their lives, their struggles, and their aspirations with me--no strings attached. 

I am grateful to them.  Lupus does not have to be the central point of my work-outs anymore, neither is my pain. I have found other kindred souls and I am in great company.  The rainbow is absolutely gorgeous at the moment!